We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize