I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
