ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize