matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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