I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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