when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
