No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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