Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
