But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
