I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
this is an emotional support booty call
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
