She said her name was "party"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Randomize
