we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
