i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
