the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
