we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize