so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
