i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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