At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
