I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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