i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize