I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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