If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He better not be in your backpack
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
