Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
