Don't make out with my wife yet
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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