Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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