She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize