if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Is Oprah even human
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
