So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Text me some of your sweat
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
