i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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