omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
