I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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