y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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