There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My bed smells like the plague
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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