Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
