I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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