I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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