Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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