Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Congratulations! We have a period
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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