I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
