at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
