Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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