Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
