I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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