So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
