I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
