at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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