just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
As shirtless as possible
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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