JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
