there's paper in my vomit.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you win again, gameday.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
