Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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