He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize