i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
