someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
