I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
