Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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