So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
