She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
