Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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