if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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