You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
