yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
