I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
