So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
